Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Left Behindfeld, Act II, Scene I

Left Behindfeld: a comedy about a book about nothing. The following covers the "activity" of Tribulation Force.

“Buck” Williams = Jerry Seinfeld
Rayford Steele = George Costanza
Chloe Steele = Elaine Bennis
Rev. Bruce Barnes = Kramer
Guest starring Christina Hendricks as Hattie Durham
Plus special guest star playing the role of Nicolae Carpathia

SCENE: busy coffee shop. KRAMER is standing in line with several other patrons.

Another customer approaches KRAMER

PATRON: Thank you, Kramer, for warning us about the Anti-Christ.

A MAN IN BLACK overhears this, and looks over at KRAMER. KRAMER notices the MAN IN BLACK, and is startled.

An older couple approaches KRAMER

OLDER MAN: Kramer, with all of the strange things happening lately, I can’t tell you how much of a comfort your sermons have been for me.
KRAMER (nervously): Well, I don’t know about that. I just try to speak the gospel, and offer comfort. The book’s the same as it’s always been!

OLDER WOMAN: Yes, but now, with the disappearances, and the treaty with Israel...

KRAMER: Nope! I’m just reading the Gospels! Same as I did last week, and last year!

The MAN IN BLACK stares at KRAMER, and gets up as a young woman approaches KRAMER.

YOUNG WOMAN: Reverend, I just wanted to say-

KRAMER (frightened): No, no, you’ve got me confused with someone else. Whatever you think I said I didn’t say, and even if I said it I didn’t mean it because it wasn’t true and you couldn’t prove I said it anyway.

KRAMER bolts for the door.


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