Monday, November 12, 2007

LW07 - Bonus round

Hidden Sandwich: The Tool of Victory

As every Gearsmith worth his salt knows, an unexpected advantage, no matter how minute, may mean the difference between victory and defeatin combat. The mighty Hidden Sandwich, when constructed and used properly, can become that advantage.

1. Forging the Sandwich.

1a. Collect any remains of lesser sandwiches that you can find around your lab. You will need 5 to 6 such remains in order to forge the Hidden Sandwich. If you find more than 6 sandwiches, pick the 6 oldest, crustiest ones, and discard the rest. If you do not have enough sandwich remains, take some from your research assistant's lunch. He won't mind.
1b. Fire up your Runic Forge. Place the remains in the forge until they glow red-hot. When the remains are hot, divide them into two approximately equal piles, and place each pile onto the anvil.
1c. If you happen to have any quick-setting runic alloy, apply it to the remains now.
1d. While the remains are still hot, strike them repeatedly with the Runic Hammer; alternate your strikes between each pile. Flatten the remains into two thin, solid sheets (about 0.5 cm in thickness). Re-heat, fold, and re-forge the sheets as desired, as though making a
damascus blade. Then, allow the sheets to cool naturally (do not quench !).
1e. Place some tomato slices on top of one of the sheets. Cover them with a titanium armor plate, then place the other sheet on top. Using an electric arc welder, weld the edges of your sandwich together.
1f. Paint the sandwich in aesthetically pleasing colors.

2. Wielding the Sandwich.

2a. Hide the sandwich in the front pocket of your greatcoat. Then, challenge the meanest, dumbest looking warrior that you can find. 2b. Your enemy will draw his gun and aim it at you, expecting you to fall on your knees and beg for mercy. Do not do this. Instead, strike a dramatic pose and taunt him.
2c. The enemy will now attempt to shoot you. At the last moment, pull out your sandwich and place it between yourself and the bullet. The sandwich will safely absorb the lethal impact.
2d. Your enemy, dumbfounded by your skill, will be temporarily paralyzed with fear. Do not allow him to recover. Instead, draw your Runic Cannon, and shoot him in the face.
2e. Gloat over your fallen opponent.

3. Cautionary Notes.

3a. Do not attempt to block beam weaponry with the sandwich. It won't work.
3b. Store the sandwich in a cool, dry place.
3c. Use goggles when operating Runic machinery.

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