Saturday, April 21, 2007

Zero business

[deleted]

14 comments:

jhlipton said...

There was a thud at the other end of the line

I'm sure there was. It wasn't the phone, it was her jaw dropping to the floor!

Melissa said...

This is what I get for not reading all the comments on Slacktivist. I didn't know about this until just now.

This blog may actually be made entirely of awesome.

bulbul said...

Rayford had no intention of donating money to an abortion clinic, and he knew the babies were in heaven now, but he had to find a kind way of turning Hattie down so that she'd still come to watch the video.

I actually laughed out loud as I read this. It's like you read Rayford's mind...

Jessica R. said...

I really like the shift of her voice changing back to the chipper flight attendant tone, a nicely done way of giving her character depth and showing she's waking up about Rayford. Who would reallly think so simplistically as "he knew the babies were in heaven now".

Jesurgislac said...

jhlipton: Heh. Something like that. I just envisaged Hattie throwing the receiver across the room. But, maybe that's a little bit too butch for her...

Melissa: Thank you! I'm hoping to do paraposts - Left Behind Friday, Right Behind Saturday.

Bulbul: OMG that's why my fingers feel all sticky!

Jessica R: Sadly, I gather Hattie never wakes up to how awful Rayford is, but wouldn't it be great if she did?

X said...

I think it would be awesome if she DID wake up to his crappiness, but keeps hanging around because she's trying to play him for HER reasons. You've already got a nice line on this angle. It could go places

hapax said...

Well, I think Jesu just proved L&J's point. Hattie's really all about The Money, isn't she? Yeah, she SAYS its for health care, but we know that it'll go for donuts in the staff room. (EVIL donuts, of course -- but aren't they all?)

Jessica R. said...

jesu, oh in the books she'll never wake up but what makes this blog so wonderful is she can be an actual human being with a future.

Axiomatic said...

I only now discovered this.

Awesome beyond belief. Now I get to dig through the archives!

Jesurgislac said...

Hapax: Yeah, she SAYS its for health care, but we know that it'll go for donuts in the staff room.

Donuts are an essential medical resource for health workers! (That's what they tell me, anyway.) Donuts and coffee...

Jessica R.: but what makes this blog so wonderful is she can be an actual human being with a future.

I must say, I do like taking the subsidiary characters and having them act like human beings next to Buck and Rayford's inhumanity...

Axiomatic said...I only now discovered this. Awesome beyond belief. Now I get to dig through the archives!

It's only been up since, um, LB Friday before last?

And we need to get ako on board! And the opoponax!

Dutchdear said...

Where'd it go? I'm dying to read it. I've heard it was excellent. Anyway it could get reposted?
Jesu's Zero Kindness is one of the best short stories on Right Behind I've read, and I'm guessing this one's got to be good, too. Please?!

JohnMasseyJr said...

Yeah, I heard it was good. Can somebody put it back up? I really wanna read it. Jesu is really good.

Anonymous said...

wayback machine to the rescue

http://web.archive.org/web/20070508231149/http://exharpazo.blogspot.com/2007/04/zero-business.html

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the wayback link, Anon. Absolutely brilliant AU scene.