Tuesday, October 6, 2009

No Hope

Chaim sat in the yacht clubs restaurant, he waited for Buck, quietly counting the seconds, trying very hard to appear at ease in this room. He smelled the perfume and cologne, saw the looks of smug self satisfaction around him, he sat and tried not to gag. His thoughts kept drifting back to when the formula came to being. He had wanted very badly to make things better in the world, to offer people something that could give them hope. If there was enough food they could offer it to help other nations perhaps even find something close to a peace that wasn't a result of mutual fear in the land he called his home. Maybe if there was enough usable land there could have been peace, maybe if there was something they could offer the world his nation would be remembered in history as something great, and, he admitted that he enjoyed the idea of immortality that would come from creating a horn of plenty for mankind to hold. He remembered then the odd dreams, strange images, feeling something...wrong was the best word for it. He remembered making inches of progress, then huge stumbling blocks the soil became infertile, plants dies something always seemed to go wrong. Then...then he appeared. He wasn't sure who the man was but he seemed to know a lot about the project, about him.

He remembered the two of them talking, whoever this man was he knew that the formula kept hitting walls, he offered Chaim the ability to finish the formula, to make it work beyond his wildest dreams. Chaim remembered the conversation that followed, or at least remembered words were spoken but not much else. He went to the labs and suddenly ideas flowed, connections were made that had never even been imagined before, the formula went from a vague pipe dream to a sudden reality in what seemed impossible. The thoughts and connections flowed with a speed and ability that sometimes startled him, looking back he had to admit his own surprise at what he seemed to realize or remember. Then his government decided to focus more on selling food to the rest of the world, it became rich but it also angered the other nations of the world.

Then the event, he remembered Carpathia, the man had been so charming, so charismatic and capable. They had spoken a few times, but it was recently that he began to feel a true fear. Carpathia had spoken with him about the formula, he had first felt relief, Carpathia was going to give it to everyone in this world, after the event and all that followed it people might have something to inspire them again or at least something that offered them some sort of stability. But then...something still felt off he wasn't sure why but something in his mind felt off but he wasn't sure what it was. Carpathia had spoken to him about it and when he mentioned how it would help to consolidate power and what it would mean for the government. He tried to speak to Carpathia saying that such actions are what caused others to want to destroy his own nation, then he saw Carpathia offer a smile and just say that Chaim needed to remember what he had promised. Chaim remembered that conversation that came again, and a moment of realization and fear nearly broke him.

His thoughts went back to the club, he saw the people there, drinking fine wine and eating fine food even as so many were in peril. He saw a room full of cold nothings, he felt as if the whole of the club was full of whores. High class whores, well dressed whores, but in the end these people made their money exploiting developing nations or simply inherited from their families and saw such money as a birthright the pain and suffering others didn't matter a bit to them. He then sighed bitterly, knowing that he was likely a whore of this new government and beliefs he was letting them use his formula to help tighten their grip he kept trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing but he knew that he was as much a whore as any of those here. He had some vague hope, rumors were that Buck was wanted for something perhaps...perhaps Buck knew someone, something, anything of value. Maybe even something that would let him break free of his fear. He had managed to convince Carpathia to make him the one to meet with Buck, and speaking of him, there he was now.

They spoke and exchanged pleasantries...or as close as they could get. Buck seemed more irritated that Carpathia wasn't there. When he asked where Buck was during the meeting, hoping that perhaps Buck remembered something he didn't, that perhaps it would help him get a better grip on the world that he couldn't seem to hold. Instead Buck just asked rhetorically where any of them were, this worried him more, though he kept a happy mask up, mentioning the potential of the formula he was met only with incredulity and fear of the first world nations losing their alleged birthright, sounding far too much like those around them in this smothering club. He had heard some rumors that Buck was part of some new movement, but then he had a moment of great dread and he understood. Carpathia had sent him to meet Buck to dash his hopes, no one who followed a belief of good and virtue would reject helping the needy for fear of no longer being a superpower, no longer holding great wealth and resources. Instead, there was no hope, no great new way. The world would continue on as it had, those who had would want more and those who had not would merely have to grasp at crumbs. He kept a happy face and jovial tone, and all the while he felt his spirit die slowly.

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