Thursday, October 4, 2007

3000 Miles from Graceland, Part 8

Rod's parents' answering machine picked up on the fifth ring. "Hello," his mother's voice said cheerfully, "We're not here right now, but if you'd like to --"

The line clicked. "Hello?" an effeminate male voice lisped in to the line, struggling over the sound of the recording, "Hello? Oh, hold on." The hand piece clattered to a hard surface and Rod could suddenly only make out a muffled yelling. "Tim!" the voice called. "TIM!" pause. "TIM! Yes, you. Be a dear and turn off that stupid machine!"

His mother's voice suddenly died out. "Thank you!" the voice called. "Now, then," it said back in to the receiver, "How can I help you?"

"Tom?" Rod asked.

"Oh my God, is that my little brother Rod?" Tom giggled. "Hey, listen to me, I made that rhyme."

"Yeah, Tom, it's me," Rod said. "What are you doing there?"

"Well, with all the crazy stuff happened, Tim and I figured it would be a good idea to get our fabulous selves over to check on mom and dad. We'd check on his parents, too, but they live in Colorado and don't talk to him, you know..."

"Um, no, I didn't."

"Oh, that's right. You don't talk to me, either, little brother."

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that."

"It's okay. Jenny keeps me updated." Tom laughed. "Sometimes I forget and think I'm actually related to her."

"Yeah," Rod sighed, "Look, I need to know if mom and dad are there."


"Do you know where they are?"

"Not a clue. The car is here, so I don't think they got too far."

The line clicked and a second voice cut in. "Uh, Tom, honey, there's something you might want to see over in the family room."

"What is it?" Tom asked.


"Clothes?" Tom sounded confused.

"Yeah. They're just right here, like someone's supposed to be wearing them, but isn't anymore."

"Really?" Rod asked. Something in the back of his mind tried to get his attention. He felt like he'd heard about that before. He just couldn't figure out where.

"They're just...ewww, gross."

"What?" Tom asked.

"Your dad's dentures are here, just sitting inside his shirt collar."

"Alright, then," Tom said. "Uh, Rod, could you be a sweetie and get off the phone. I think I have to call in a missing persons report. A naked missing persons report."

"Yeah, sure," Rod said. He hung up the phone and sighed heavily.

"What was that all about?" Jenny asked from the stove.

"My parents aren't at home. I just talked to my brother, though."


"They found clothes."



"Just like Kevin!" Jenny gasped.

"Yes," it clicked in to place, "Exactly like Kevin."

"I wonder what that means?" Jenny asked.

"It means the book is right."


"The book. I showed it to you. All of the innocent children and all of the Christians disappeared at the same time. You know what that means?"


Rod's eyes widened with excitement. "It really was the Rapture!"

Jenny sighed heavily. "You can't be serious."

"But I am. Now we need to find the antichrist and figure out how to get on God's good side before it's too late."

"So does this mean that you're going to stop helping me try to find Kevin?"

Rod ignored the question.

1 comment:

Geds said...

And, um, yes, the poorly thought out gay stereotype of a brother is intentional. It seemed like the sort of thing that would fit in to the overall project. Also, it amused me...