Sunday, June 10, 2007

That Hideous Nickname

Taken from this weeks comments section, I just wanted to kudos the amazingly funny collection of quotes taken from Carpathia's seduction of Buck, so I hope everyone is willing to take a brief break from the stories while I repost them here:

The "You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" section

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because of your insanely large front teeth."

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because I hear you'll do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, for a dollar."

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "I think your head would look excellent mounted over my mantelpiece."

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because you think 8 seconds is a long time, and you don't mind landing in the cow-pies."

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because they are compelled to precede every statement to you with, 'Beedy-beedy-beedy . . . '"

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because you have one big fang and carry a beat up satchel."

My personal favorite:
"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because you have interestingly shaped balls."

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because ... well, there are many stories about how you came to be called Buck."

One of his hands had crept around Buck's waist. "Is it true that you once inadvertently threw Steve Plank right off a king-size bed?"

"You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because you are big fan of buck rogers...and let me tell you so do I. So would you like to have a sleepover at my place where we can watch all the DVD together in our pyjama"
The "You do not mind my calling you . . ." section

"You do not mind my calling you Cueball, do you? They call you that because while you are not always at the center of the table you remain the center of the game, no player able to afford dropping you in the side pocket."

"You do not mind my calling you Sara Lee, do you? They call you that because you are so delectable yet ultimately deadly to the heart, and yet no person does not, in fact, like you."

"You do not mind my calling you Brillo, do you?" Carpathia says. "They call you that because many people find you abrasive, but even they give you credit for scouring the evidence and cutting through layers of muck to get to the story."


I did all of those links by hand (yeah, I'm bored) so if there's a mistake in there somewhere, let me know.

And you're more than welcome to come up with more in the comments, if you want.

2 comments:

Jesurgislac said...

Bugmaster: "You do not mind my calling you Buck, do you?" Carpathia said. "They call you that because your nickname rhymes with a certain activity I had in mind for us this evening..."

Buck thought hard. What sort of shared activity could Carpathia have had in mind for this evening that rhymed with his nickname? Tuck... huck... perhaps Carpathia wanted Buck to read to him from Mark Twain? Muck... puck... duck... suck... (yuck)... "Luck!" Buck ejaculated. "Are you, perhaps, a gambler?"

Carpathia rolled his eyes.

Nenya said...

LOL, Jesu!

(cjmr, as is so often the case, totally winz the Internets here.)